Impressions

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128-120

PROLOGUE

     The month of November 1895 marks an important time in the history of my life and in particular in my own ideas of the possible shaping of my future. I remember the period distinctly; it coincided with a number of beautiful autumn days when there was a heavy morning mist on the Elbe. During that time the signs of a transformation into a woman became so marked on my body, that I could no longer ignore the imminent goal at which the whole development was aiming. In the immediately preceding nights my male sexual organ might actually have been retracted had I not resolutely set my will against it, still following the stirring of my sense of manly honour, so near completion was the miracle. Soul-voluptuousness had become so strong that I myself received the impression of a female body, first on my arms and hands, later on my legs, bosom, buttocks and other parts of my body. I will discuss details in the next chapter.
     Several days observations of these events sufficed to change the direction of my will completely. Until then I still considered it possible that, should my life not have fallen victim to one of the innumerable menacing miracles before, it would eventually be necessary for me to end it by suicide; apart from suicide the only possibility appeared to be some other horrible end for me, of a kind unknown among human beings. But now I could see beyond doubt that the Order of the World imperiously demanded my unmanning, whether I personally liked it or not, and that therefore it was common sense that nothing was left to me but reconcile myself to the thought of being transformed into a woman. Nothing of course could be envisaged as a further consequence of unmanning but fertilization by divine rays for the purpose of creating new human beings.

[ Daniel Paul Schreber, Memoirs of My Nervous Illness, WM Dawson & Sons Ltd., London, 1955, pp. 147-148 * Translated, Edited, with Introduction, Notes and Discussion by Ida Macalpine, M.D., and Richard A. Hunter, M.D., M.R.C.P, D.P.M. ]

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128.

Mr. Mahoney,

Thanks for sharing your book and insight which seems to provide a very logical approach to schizophrenia.

I'm not sure if you respond to personal emails from the public but I have a brother with full blown paranoid schizophrenia that I have spent much time with whose symptoms seem to correlate well with your hypothesis. Was wondering if you could recommend any good therapists (that follow your work and Dr. Kempf) in the [deleted for privacy reasons] area?

If you have made it this far thanks for reading... I have also listed some of his symptoms below:

Extremely repetitive thoughts like he's forced himself to use this as a mechanism to escape unwanted thoughts, the need to control everything as if this is also a mechanism to control unwanted thoughts, much more comfortable around females, delusions about 'us and them' (holds conversations with himself daily), walking several hours a day except very strangely like he's drunk (he does not drink or do drugs ) and when he starts he has a strange ritual of stumbling like he's transcending into another world completely oblivious to traffic or anything else.

I'm not a psychiatrist but he does feel comfortable talking to me and recently i have thrown out bits and pieces of your ideas at him like telling him its ok to thoughts u do not want, everyone has them etc and oddly enough he hasn't resisted but quite the opposite he hints that he wants to continue talking about stuff he would normally shut off to.

Thanks,

[Name]

127.

At some other point during my intermittently self-destructive existence, I heard someone's counselor say, "If it wasn't for drugs and alcohol, a lot of us would've killed ourselves."

[ Carrie Fisher, "Shockaholic," Simon & Schuster, New York, NY, 2011, pp. 14-5. ]

126.

washingtonpost.com

Contrarian Psychiatrist Loren Mosher, 70

By Adam Bernstein Washington Post Staff Writer Tuesday, July 20, 2004; Page B06

Loren R. Mosher, 70, who died of liver cancer July 10 at a clinic in Berlin, was a contrarian psychiatrist and schizophrenia expert who was dismissed from the National Institute of Mental Health for his controversial theories on treatment.

While chief of NIMH's Center for the Study of Schizophrenia from 1968 to 1980, Dr. Mosher decried excess drugging of the mentally ill; large treatment facilities like St. Elizabeths Hospital that he would have preferred to raze; and the sway pharmaceutical companies had over professional groups.

He advocated a largely drug-free treatment regimen for schizophrenics, which still runs counter to a prevailing opinion for using antipsychotic drugs for schizophrenics in the United States. His position was based on a view that schizophrenics are tormented souls who needed emotionally nourishing environments in which to recover. He said drugs were almost always unnecessary, except in the event of a violent or suicidal episode.

He eventually established small, drug-free treatment facilities that were more akin to homes than hospitals. His young care providers in one center, Soteria House in San Jose, lived and performed household chores with the handful of patients.

"The idea was that schizophrenia can often be overcome with the help of meaningful relationships, rather than with drugs, and that such treatment would eventually lead to unquestionably healthier lives," Dr. Mosher once wrote. As late as 2002, he claimed that 85 percent to 90 percent of his clients returned to the community without conventional hospital treatment.

In 1998, Dr. Mosher resigned from the American Psychiatric Association, which he called a "drug company patsy."

"The major reason for this action is my belief that I am actually resigning from the American Psychopharmacological Association," he wrote in his resignation letter. "Luckily, the organization's true identity requires no change in the acronym. At this point in history, in my view, psychiatry has been almost completely bought out by the drug companies."

Loren Richard Mosher was born in Monterey, Calif., and lived with various relatives after his mother's death from breast cancer when he was 9. He worked in oil fields in the American West as a young man to earn money for medical school, or so he told his employers. What was then a lie, he said, soon became truth as his co-workers came to the allegedly aspiring doctor with complaints about colds and sexual diseases.

After graduating from Stanford University and Harvard University medical school, he arrived at NIMH in 1964. His early schizophrenia research involved identical twins, one with schizophrenia and the other without the psychotic disorder. His research emphasized the "psychosocial" factors that he felt led one toward exhibiting symptoms but left the other one apparently normal.

Creating Soteria House in the early 1970s, he said, caused lasting trouble with the psychiatric community. After showing studies of patient recovery that matched traditional treatment with medication, the project lost its funding amid a strong peer backlash. So did a second residential treatment center in San Jose. "By 1980, I was removed from my [NIMH] post altogether," he wrote. "All of this occurred because of my strong stand against the overuse of medication and disregard for drug-free, psychological interventions to treat psychological disorders." He then taught psychiatry at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda and became head of the public mental health system in Montgomery County. He started a crisis house in Rockville, McAuliffe House, based on Soteria principles.

He was a prolific contributor to scientific journals and co-wrote several books, including "Community Mental Health: A Practical Guide" (1994). During the Ritalin phenomenon of the 1990s, he was often featured as a dissenting view in scores of articles. "If you tell a lie long enough, it becomes the truth," he said of the medication.

Dr. Mosher moved to San Diego from Washington in 1996. At his death, he was a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Diego medical school and was in Berlin for experimental cancer treatment.

His marriage to Irene Carleton Mosher ended in divorce. Survivors include his wife of 16 years, Judy Schreiber of San Diego; three children from the first marriage, Hal Mosher of Fairfax, Calif., and Tim Mosher and Heather "Missy" Galanida, both of Los Angeles; two brothers; and a granddaughter.

© 2004 The Washington Post Company

125.

After my Christmas miscarraige I attempted suicide by Heroin . Homeless , I decided to take a long shot and get help in another town . It is almost a year now and I am finally clean and feeling some joy in my life.

Carmen Solari [ A pseudonym used by a mentally ill man suffering from schizophrenia, "the bearded lady" disease. ]

124.

At 18 months, [name deleted] started taking daily anti-psychotic drugs on the order of a pediatrician trying to quell the boy's severe temper tantrums. Thus began a troubled toddler's journey from one doctor to another, from one diagnosis to another, involving even more drugs. Autism, bipolar disorder, hyperactivity, insomnia, oppositional defiant disorder. The boy's daily pill regimen multiplied: the anti-psychotic Risperdal, the anti-depressant Prozac, two sleeping medicines and one for attention deficit disorder. All by the time he was 3.

- Duff Wilson, "A Child's Ordeal Shows Risks Of Psychosis Drugs for Young," The New York Times, September 2, 2010, p. A1.

[A JMM commentary: The inmates have finally taken over the asylum and are now running it.]

123.

Normally a woman keeps the female version of her surname which is the preface Ní meaning daughter of whereas the man uses the preface Mac meaning son of. My surname is NicAntSithigh. If I was a boy it would be MacAntSithigh. Men also use ó in the surname like Ó Murchú (murphy) whereas the woman would use Uí as in Uí Mhurchú and in the woman's case there is a "h" added to the Murchú. When we were kids at school they told us to remember that "ladies always wore their hats" so we would remember to add the "h" for a woman.

It is unusual to take the masculine name if you are a woman - in fact I have never heard of it before. It is interesting in the context of the "bearded lady."

Hope you're keeping well.

Clodagh Sheehy,

Dublin, Ireland

[ This reply was received (9/13/2011) in answer to a question about the meaning of the surname, beginning with the letters "Mac", of an Irish girl suffering from mental illness. jmm ]

122.

Guess the remedy - Case of schizophrenia

Male, Aged 38 years

Background History:

As a young boy during his school days, he was a very jovial and fun loving social person. He was in school and lived in a hostel in Bangalore. One day he came back and did not want to go back again to the hostel. Parents inquired a lot but he did not respond.

He then stopped socializing and wanted to remain alone. Slowly this turned into suspiciousness and fear of strangers. Now he feels as if people are talking behind him and plotting things against him. He can hear voices near by and talks to himself at night.

He has also started turning Abusive + Increased hunger since he is on allopathic medicines for last 10 years. Has become extremely lazy. When in a social environment he would keep a plain face with no expressions.

On observation he has Feminine gestures and body language. Close relative believes one reason for his state could be because he was always compared to his elder brother who is successful in life.

Another observation was probably he was ill treated with boys in the hostel (sexually?) which affected his mental state.

By nature he is a very sensitive guy.

One more observation - If he is told to type an alphabet I. He would see it but take a lot of time in pressing the key, fully knowing that he is observing the alphabet I key. Also his Hands shiver on becoming anxious.

[ The above brief case history was recently provided (9/13/2011) by an Indian homeopathic practitioner. The "patient" cited here is obviously suffering from paranoid schizophrenia--the "bearded lady" disease--caused, as it invariably is, by severe bisexual conflict and gender confusion. jmm ]

121.

2. Rebels found something odd in Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi's abandoned compound. What?

C. Forty-five pairs of Manola Blahniks in men's size 11.

D. A scrapbook filled with flattering photos of Condoleezza Rice.

2. (D) Experts believe that the Rice scrapbook belonged to the ousted Libyan dictator because the words "Mr. Muammar Rice" were scribbled all over the cover.

[ From the NPR program "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me," as published in the New York Times, "Sunday Review," September 4, 2011, p. 2. ]

120.

Madness in great ones must not unwatch'd go.

[ ... the King to Polonius, referring to Prince Hamlet, in Shakespeare's "Hamlet," Act 3, Scene 1. ]