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Quotations/Comments652-640652 At home things really began to deteriorate. I seemed to be tired all the time and I'd sleep for hours without being refreshed by the rest. I became indifferent to Laurie and my sexual appetite vanished; on those rare occasions when we did have intercourse, neither of us were satisfied. I began to doubt my masculinity. There must be something wrong with a man who can't satisfy the woman he loves. Maybe I'm a homosexual. That thought terrified me. On the streets I began to fancy that other men were looking at me. I began to see homosexuals everywhere, and all of them were laughing at me. (A terrible kind of desexualization, a loss of masculine identity, seems often to accompany schizophrenia when it develops in men, and perhaps this accounts for their morbid anxiety over homosexuality.) — In Search of Sanity, The Journal of a Schizophrenic, by Gregory Stefan, University Books, Inc., Hyde Park, New York, 1965, p.19.
The terrifying phenomenon that Mr. Stefan is experiencing, as described in the above quotation, is what is commonly known in psychiatry as a "homosexual panic." He is clearly undergoing a classic case of this very frequent schizophrenic symptom, triggered invariably by powerful, though strongly repressed and denied, homosexual feelings and desires. In fact, in this case, conflict is so acute that it has led Mr. Stefan into a floridly paranoid state where he is deluded into believing he sees homosexual men surrounding him, all of whom are looking and laughing at him. In short, his repressed homosexual conflict is the direct cause of his paranoid schizophrenia, or the bearded lady disease. In Mr. Stefan's own explanatory note stating that, in men, a loss of a sense of "masculine identity", or "a terrible kind of desexualization", is common in schizophrenia, is certainly correct and it applies equally to women as well as to men. The latter experience a frightening loss of their sense of feminine identity to an equal degree as do men their sense of masculine identity, as they too are suffering from schizophrenia, the bearded lady disease, or of not knowing at the deepest level of their psyche which sex one is a member of.
651 As to the revelation itself, it caused Muhammad [ibn Abdallah] considerable anguish. Sometimes he heard voices; sometimes he saw visions, sometimes, he said, the words were found in his inmost heart, and at such times their production caused him acute physical pain. When the revelations began he feared for his sanity, and only after reassurances from his wife and friends did he accept that he was the recipient of the divine gift of the Word." — Salman Rushdie, writing in the New York Review of Books, date not noted.
In today's world this violently afflicted individual would be quickly and easily diagnosed as suffering from an acute attack of paranoid schizophrenia, with accompanying florid delusions of grandeur mixed with aural and visual hallucinations. In short, when he himself is said to have feared for his sanity, he was a much better diagnostician of his diseased state of mind than were either his wife or his friends. The same diseased state of mind must also be attributed to the man called Joseph Smith, who claimed that at the age of fifteen he had been visited by an angel called Moroni. Supposedly this hallucinated angel thereupon gave him directions on how to find and uncover the buried Golden Tablets whereon were already transcribed the words to what would later come to be known as the Book of Mormon. It should be noted here that many cases of schizophrenia first appear in the early teens, around puberty, when the so-called "raging hormones" newly-awakened sexuality first takes hold. If a young person has a powerful, latent bisexual conflict/gender confusion issue, this is the period when severe mental illness can first occur. Schizophrenia was once called "dementia praecox" (precocious dementia), denoting that often it made its first appearance during these early years of confused sexual awakening. The two cases mentioned in the above Quotation and Comment sections pertain to individuals who went to establish religions with a worldwide reach. As is well known, and in spite of, and due in most part to, their severe mental illness.
650 That I command the impartiality necessary for this undertaking I believe I have proved by my former studies in the field of the life of Jesus. Should it really turn out that Jesus' object world must be considered by the doctor as in some degree the world of a sick man, still this conclusion, regardless of the consequences that follow from it and the shock to many that would result from it must not remain unuttered, since reverence for truth must be exalted above everything else. With this conviction I began the work, suppressing the unpleasant feeling of having to subject a great personality to psychiatric examination, and pondering the truth that what is great and profound in the ethical teachings of Jesus would retain its significance even if the conceptions in his world outlook and some of his actions had to be called more or less diseased. — The Psychiatric Study of Jesus, Exposition and Criticism, by Albert Schweitzer, The Beacon Press, Boston, 1948, Preface to 13th ed., p. 28.
Dr. Schweitzer's reverence for the truth, no matter where that truth may lead, reminds one of the same great reverence for truth demonstrated by naturalist Charles Darwin when he first propounded his revolutionary new Theory of Evolution. Darwin realized that many of his contemporaries would be deeply disturbed and shocked by the implications stemming from this theory, yet he, as did Dr. Schweitzer, also understood that "reverence for the truth must be exalted above everything else." For mankind to have progressed beyond its original state of primeval ignorance and superstition, nothing less is demanded, and will continue to be so ad infinitum. Thus when it is stated here that the founders of all the major religions of the world can be proved to have been clinically insane, suffering from all the various delusions and hallucinations peculiar and ever-present in the mental illness called paranoid schizophrenia, or the bearded lady disease, is strict adherence to this one great, all-encompassing principle and foundation of science and rationality ─ namely, that the truth surpasses all else in importance. On a somewhat lighter note, the quotation attributed to an English grande dame upon first learning of Dr. Darwin's Theory of Evolution, should be mentioned here. "I hope Mr. Darwin's theory is incorrect," she declared, "but if it is correct I hope it does not become widely known." This same attitude is relevant to all new truths that may shake the foundation of common beliefs, such as the statement made above concerning the diseased state of mind of all persons who proclaim themselves to be religious prophets. Hopefully this fact is not true, but if it is true, also hopefully it will not become widely known!
649 Since the authors discussed by Dr. Schweitzer agree on one point, namely that Jesus suffered from some form of 'paranoia', a few words concerning this type of mental disorder may not be out of place. The word is an old one ─ it was used in the Hippocratic writings, though in a general sense, as meaning mental disease. It was introduced into German psychiatry as early as 1818 by Heinroth, but with so loose a definition that at one time from 70 to 80 percent of the patients in European mental hospitals were diagnosed as suffering from 'paranoia.' . . . . One may disagree with Schweitzer on one or two minor points. He takes for granted that the failure of Jesus to develop ideas of injury or persecution rules out the possibility of a paranoid psychosis. This is not necessarily true; some paranoids manifest ideas of grandeur almost entirely and we find patients whose grandeur is very largely of a religious nature, such their belief that they are directly instructed by God to convert the world or perform miracles. Again, he offers as evidence of freedom from paranoia the fact that Jesus modifies his views as to his missions. Some paranoids substantially modify their delusions in accordance with their view of environmental factors, and may indeed appear to reason logically concerning events of interest to them ─ logically, that is, if one grants their premises. — Winfred Overholser, M.D., President, American Psychiatric Association, Washington, D.C., 1948, in his foreward to The Psychiatric Study of Jesus - Exposition and Criticism, By Albert Schweitzer, The Beacon Press, Boston, 1948, pp. 12-15.
It would be a fair-minded assessment of Dr. Overholser's views, as expressed in the above quotation, that the historical figure known as Jesus of Nazareth was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, or the bearded lady disease. (The Apostle Paul was once quoted as having said that "Jesus is neither male nor female.") In Jesus' time the Jewish religion had long been awaiting the coming of its Messiah, and as a Jew himself, Jesus was fully aware of this expectation. In his deluded, or "diseased" state of mind, he slowly came to the belief he was this very person, and as a direct consequence of this paranoid belief, a new world religion sprang up around him and his teachings, albeit slowly and not without having first afflicted immense suffering and hardship upon its followers.
648 I obviously lack insight and somewhat am lost confused and fragmented. Today, I have had the feeling in my chest as if I had tits . . . furthermore, I still keep on viciously pulling out hairs from my chest (removal of penis, want tits?) and from my belly-button (want a baby?) . . . I am concerned if I have returned to my real boy self or if I still remain as a girl and perhaps girl on girl. I don't want to form my sexual identity until I am 100% sure I am real boy again . . . boy on girl identity would just be disastrous and girl on girl in boy body would be pure gay(?). How could I tell with no insight that I am real boy again? Without alcohol I simply don't know what I want . . . what I feel . . . who I am . . . etc. . . Furthermore, I have forgotten about the girl of the bar who transmitted me love last weekend. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Perhaps, when I drink, I am acting in the opposite direction of my subconscious (?? clueless). I've been sitting some time today like a lady and touching my hair, listening to rap and love songs . . . it's a tough cookie to find the way out of a labyrinth with bandaged eyes. DAMIT!! Is there any method or trick I could use periodically to check and be sure that Mars still wears the pants? I need to know I am not going to build a boy over girl again . . . only man trips twice over the same stone . . . — Personal Communication
This young man is obviously in the tenacious grip of schizophrenia - the bearded lady disease, due as always to a severe case of bisexual conflict and gender confusion. There is hope, however, that this conflict will be resolved for him at a later date in favor of both a healthier emotional and physical state since he is not repressing this conflict but is wrestling courageously with it on a conscious level. If his severe bisexual conflict/gender confusion had been unconditionally repressed into his unconscious, he would consequently have developed many of the more florid manifestations of schizophrenia, such as paranoid delusions of persecution and grandeur as well as manic/depressive symptomatology, among others. Unlike the famous paranoid psychotic, Daniel Paul Schreber (see his Memoirs of My Nervous Illness), the above young man will be able to effect "a social recovery with insight" from his schizophrenia. Schreber, on the other hand, experienced a partial social recovery, but definitely without insight, as he persisted in his psychotic belief that it was God who had wished him to turn into a woman rather than accepting these powerful sexual feelings and desires as his very own.
647 In a surreal speech, Mr. Rader read notes from yellow legal paper about what he had in common with his victims; like Kathryn Bright, he spent time on his grandparent's farm; Delores Davis shared his love for dogs; he and Marine Hedge were both gardeners; Joseph Otero was a veteran of the Air Force. 'She liked to write poetry – I liked to write poetry,' he said of Mr. Otero's 11-year-old daughter, Josephine, in a macabre reminder of the depraved poems and sketches the police found in his home. 'She liked to draw, I liked to draw.' . . . Also seized by the police were lewd Polaroids of Mr. Rader's 'self-bondage' in his victims' clothing, and extensive collection of Barbie-style dolls he would paint and pose in sexual positions, and books on serial killers, one subtitled, 'The Methods and Madness of Monsters' that had a mention of B.T.K. highlighted. — Jodi Wilgoren, The New York Times, August 19, 2005, p. A13. The B.T.K killer is obviously insane, suffering from schizophrenia. A close reading of Jodi Wilgoren's reportage on his case immediately highlights examples of his severe bisexual conflict/gender confusion, always the basic pathogen in mental illness. We can see how he strongly identified with the women he murdered; he liked to do many of the same things they did, he was quoted as emphasizing. And then we have the most obvious example of all of his severe bisexual conflict/gender confusion in the fact he took Polaroids of himself while wearing the actual clothing of his murder victims and posed in the same bondage positions he had placed them. Here his self-identification as a female is clearly apparent. Mr. Rader hated his own feminine component so much and was so terrified of it that he had to murder other women in a psychotic attempt to kill his own repressed feminine longings. And the man he killed, Joseph Otero, had undoubtedly stirred up strongly repressed homosexual longings in Mr. Rader. By killing him, he destroyed the object of his homosexual temptation, which is a common theme in many same-sex homicides, both male and female. It should be noted that he masturbated both during and after all his murders, thus highlighting the basic etiological role played by sexual confusion and repression in all mental illness. Finally, in a picture accompanying Jodi Wilgoren's article on Mr. Rader, a detective assigned to the case is holding up a mask used by him in one of the killings. The mask is very feminine-appearing. Mr. Rader, as well as all his victims, were destroyed by his schizophrenia, the bearded lady disease. It is but one more story in the ages-old saga of the tragedies caused by this illness.
646 In addition to Robert, the dominant personality, the one he presents to the world, his other two active selves are Bobby, an attention-needing and affection-starved child who has grown into a quizzical young adult; and Wanda, a quiet Buddhist-like presence who was once submerged in the viciously cruel personality known only as the Witch. — Bruce Weber, The New York Times, October 1, 2005, in a review of the book: A Fractured Mind: My Life With Multiple Personality Disorder (Hyperion). As in all cases of so-called "Multiple Personality Disorder", the person so afflicted inevitably reports that both male and female characters inhabit his or her body. If a male, he reports one or more females; if a female, one or more males. In short, MPD is just one of the many disguises worn by the mental illness known as schizophrenia, the bearded lady disease. MPD sufferers are often described as being victims of a "split personality". Actually, this definition is the correct one – a schizophrenic is a person whose psyche is split almost evenly between male and female components, resulting inexorably in that state of severe bisexual conflict and gender confusion which fuels the myriad symptoms of mental illness.
645 Consider C.A. Tripp and his argument that Lincoln was gay. His book, The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln begins with the fact that Lincoln during his late 20's and early 30's shared a bed with a young man named Joshua Speed. As President, Lincoln may also have shared his bed with a captain of his guard in Washington . . . . As I dug into the story, I learned about the two times, at ages 26 and 32, when Lincoln broke down so severely that he came near suicide; about his profound gloom in his middle years and his deliberate work to cope with it; and finally, about how his depression both plagued him and fueled his great work as President. — The True Lincoln, Joshua Wolf Shenk, Time Magazine, July 4, 2005, pp. 42-43. There can be little doubt that C.A. Tripp, in his book on Lincoln, has unearthed valuable material relating to Lincoln's psychological profile. From the evidence gathered, he makes a very strong case that Lincoln was beset by severe bisexual conflict, severe enough at times to lead him to the brink of suicide. Considering the fact suicide has been called the most serious symptom of schizophrenia, then Lincoln definitely suffered from this illness. The glaring fact that he shared the same bed with his dearest male friend, Joshua Speed, for such a lengthy period of time would mark Lincoln today as being homosexual beyond any reasonable doubt. Also the fact he was unhappily married to a woman similarly beset with severe psychological (read bisexual) conflicts adds further proof to this hypothesis. (The father of a schizophrenic patient once said: "When I married I was only half a man and could only marry half a woman.") Lincoln's life-threatening, lifelong depression was the direct result of his bearded lady conflict. Furthermore this conflict engendered his ever-strengthening religious, messianic-type certainty that he was doing God's will by freeing the slaves and saving the Union during the Civil War. In short, he was exhibiting, in a subtle manner, one of the classic symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. Finally, it is interesting to note how many pictures of Lincoln exist today showing him at times with a beard and then without one.
644 In discussing the magic, which is manifested in the symptomatology of schizophrenia, Schilder notes: 'The cases reported here show with great clarity that the magical is greatly surcharged with the sexual. To affect, to influence, means, on this level of development, to influence sexually. Tausk has shown that in schizophrenia the influencing mechanism is nothing else than the body, and in the last analysis, the genitals of one thus influenced. . . . One patient felt herself influenced by a Phoenix, a bastard who had no genitals, or only a shrunken penis. The patient, however, called herself a bastard and claimed to derive from this characteristic her witchcraft.' (Ibid., p. 98) Here the patient identifies herself with a Phoenix, "a bastard who had no genitals, or only a shrunken penis." In her unconscious this is how the patient perceives herself, as a castrated woman, yet one who still possesses a "shrunken penis." She is afflicted with schizophrenia, the "bearded lady" disease. This "shrunken penis" motif is found in the common folklore about witches flying around on broomsticks, i.e. their faux penises. And the term "witch" is commonly applied to females who are masculine, aggressive and castrative to men due to their extreme penis envy, and envy of the male role in life in general.
643 I met many N.N.'s. When I went home, my family did not recognize me. Or I could not find my way home because my name was lost. Once I fell off a slope or a hill and banged myself. I lost my name when I was banged, and the same thing happened to another fellow, so that our names got exchanged. I met some girls who also had the same name, but it turned out they were Mrs. N.N. – and they were all men. They all looked like me, both the girls and the men." (Ibid., p. 174) The patient's severe bisexual conflict and gender confusion are glaringly obvious in this quotation when he says that all the girls "were Mrs. N.N. – and they were all men" and then that "both the girls and the men" all looked like him, the patient. The patient's gender confusion here is complete and total and is even confusing to the observer transcribing it.
642 The next night I dreamed that I wanted to have intercourse, but I could not see the girl. Somebody must be doing this to me. Then I was awake and my bedcover was thrown off. A crown prince stood at my bed with a sword, as if he were equal and going to fight. You know, as if your father had come in in the morning to wake you up. There were many girls. They had yellow hair like angels, and their faces were like mine. (Ibid., p. 140) In this dream, the patient's deep-seated confusion as to which sex he belongs to is highlighted by his statement that the faces of all the girls "with their yellow hair like angels" were like his own. In other words, he primarily identified gender-wise with these girls rather than with his own masculine sex. He is truly a "bearded lady," consequently afflicted by schizophrenia.
641 Schizophrenia means split-mindedness, duality of purpose, lack of interpretation. Thus, a fifty-five-year-old laborer, born in Hungary but residing in the United States, complained bitterly that whenever he wanted to drink a glass of water, the baby in him protested violently or wanted a glass for itself. (His name was John, and he called the baby Little John.) It was impossible for him to buy one necktie because the baby always wanted one too. He felt an urgent need to get rid of the baby, and he would frequently tell the baby (with great emphasis and in the manner of an adult) that it should go out. He spoke in English; the baby answered in Hungarian, in a whining and pitiful voice, explaining that a baby could not live without its mother, and that if it went out into the world there would be nobody to feed it and there would be no bed to sleep in. The disputation between him and the baby went on endlessly. It is quite clear that he was both adult and baby and that the baby did not want to come out of the womb. In this case contact with reality had ceased. — Magic and Schizophrenia, Geza Roheim, Indiana University Press, Bloomington and London, 1970, p. 98. It is quite obvious that this psychotic male patient believes he is a woman about to give birth to a baby. His severe, unconscious bisexual conflict/gender confusion has overwhelmed him to the point where he actually believes, in the delusion described here, that he is a pregnant female. His "bearded lady" disease – schizophrenia – has now seized total control of his psyche and of his life.
640 Van Tilburg has really given us three books in one, a history of a unique society, a Gothic novel, and a powerfully moving biography. The variously furious, passive-aggressive, inept, and effective relations of Routledge and her husband with each other, with other expedition members, with islanders, and with the island priestess Angata, who gained spiritual power over Routledge – all that makes a fascinating story. Routledge wrote of herself in 1891, 'It was my misfortune to be born a woman with the feelings of a man.' Her tragic biography traces how a rich heiress with a family history of mental illness mastered her inner problems sufficiently to become one of the earliest women graduates of Oxford University, then to make her own way through a man's world, and to contribute to our understanding of Easter Island, only to succumb at last to paranoia and to die in the mental asylum to which her husband and brother finally committed her.* — "Twilight at Easter," Jared Diamond, New York Review of Books, New York, March 25, 2004, p. 6. Katherine Routledge's paranoid schizophrenia can be traced directly to her statement that "It was my misfortune to be born a woman with the feelings of a man." She is the classic female "bearded lady," emotionally a man, physically a woman. Every woman suffering from mental illness, at the deepest level of her psyche, is similar to Routledge and would make the same plaint. Conversely, every mentally ill man, at the deepest level of his psyche, would feel that it was his "misfortune to be born a man with the feelings of a woman." Or, as the psychotic yet insightful Dr. Daniel Paul Schreber so eloquently stated it: "I would like to meet the man who, faced with the choice of either being a demented human being in male habitus, or a spirited woman, would not prefer the latter." (The psychotic woman would reverse Schreber's statement.) |
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